My best friend, as do I, deals in words. We both share a fascination with how we humans communicate our intentions, feelings, wants, desires, and exasperations with the spoken and written word. The study of the exchange or words, spoken and written, is fascinating.

And avid and eclectic reader my friend emailed me a humorous example of the way the spoken word can sometimes be misunderstood which he found reading some online newspaper from Utah. An ad placed by a man named Steve appeared in the local publication was now being read by thousands around the world. The ad was for a ’06 Suzuki GSXR 1000 Cycle. It enticed the reader by stating the two wheeled vehicle could be obtained for a mere $10,000. Which, according to the ad, was a real deal as the bike was described as being in perfect condition. The owner asserted it only had 1000 miles on it. Further, the 500 mile dealer service had been completed. The fact that the bike had only been ridden by adults was apparently a selling feature. And Steve maintained it had only been used for cruiser/commuter purposes.

Steve also stated the reasons for the offered sale. He said, “I’m selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently ‘do whatever the (insert expletive here) you want’ does not mean what I thought it meant.” 

I thought of Steve the other day when I was writing away on an essay in my little study. I was at one of those real breakthrough moments. After hours of being stymied at how to express the muddled thoughts in my head, it suddenly crystallized. Now the words were flowing. My handwriting had slurred into that blur which is my shorthand when I’m being productive. The words seemingly placed themselves on paper by themselves and in the back of my thoughts the form of the essay was taking place. I could clearly see the path to the end. And then the phone rang.

“Yes. I remember that. Gracious, I didn’t realize how close the deadline was. You must really be busy.”

“I am. I think if I keep to it I’ll be able to go to that function you wanted me to go with you tonight.” 

“Well, I’ll get back to it.” I paused a second then asked, “Why did you call?” 

“I just wanted to let you know that when I brought that container of homemade soup to work for lunch today I forgot to bring any bread or crackers.”

Now that was interesting information. I pictured the bowl of soup on the large kitchen table in the kitchen at her office. It was steaming. There was a shiny soup spoon beside it and a large glass of tea. It sat there. But it was incomplete. There were no crackers. 

“Oh, honey, I didn’t mean for you to bring it to me. You’ve got that deadline. You keep working.” 

Now here’s where Steve, the unauthorized owner of that 2006 Suzuki GSXR 1000, and I are different. Unlike Steve, I am fluent in Wife.  I understood completely what those words meant.

“Let me go, darling,” said I. “I need to get there before your soup gets cold.”