Well, today’s the first day of Lent. Now, I realize that doesn’t mean a thing for some who read this. So, let me give you a quick primer.

 

Lent is the forty days just prior to Easter. Well, that’s forty days not counting Sundays. Don’t ask me why we don’t count Sunday. I’m sure they covered it in seminary, but I had a habit of skipping a lot of classes those days. It’s a time when we deny ourselves, as did Jesus during his forty days in the desert. (Someday I need to check and see if Jesus counted the Sabbaths as part of those forty days.)

 

Traditionally, Christians try and give up something during the forty days of Lent. Back when I was a kid and the church had this massive building program, we were asked to give up a nickel every day. They even gave us these neat folders in which we could insert the coins. We put in one nickel each day. Hey, wait a minute! I’ve got to contact that church. As well as I can remember those folders had a slot for Sundays. Now, since Sundays are not counted as part of the forty days  -- let’s see that would be around five nickels for each Sunday of my childhood each year. Hmmm! I think my childhood church owes me a refund. 

 

I’ve got to be honest with you, we Christians sometimes don’t really get into the spirit of the season. If we did, we’d give up things like war, deception, arguing, cheating. Maybe we’d even give up something like knowingly sinning. 

 

But we don’t. We give up other things. So, in the spirit of the season and wanting to be accepted  by my group, let me list some things I’m going to give up.

 

For Lent this year, I’m going to give up boysenberries, pomegranates, and anything that might have a soy base.  I’m gong to give up leeks and brussel sprouts, raw turnips, and snow peas. I’ll give up all kinds of bread that has seeds which my get stuck in my teeth.

 

For the next forty days you will not see me riding in any car that costs more than $30,000, nor will I be found in any vehicle that could be considered in any sense of the term “a limo.”

 

I will not read any book whose language is not English, nor will I read any book that confronts me with an intellectual challenge. I will not author an book whose publication date is within the next forty days (not counting Sundays).

 

During Lent this year I will not attend any concert, play, or any other form of entertainment that costs more than $35 per ticket. I will not, myself, perform in any public venue. That, of course, is excepting preaching, which some say is a form of entertainment. I can exempt the preaching as it takes place on Sunday.

 

Now, I’m fully aware there are some Christians reading this who are ready to take me to task. They are going to say I’ve made fun of Lent and Lent is a sacred observance of the church. They are going to enjoin me that I should not belittle such a time of denial. And that brings me to the final thing I’m going to give up for Lent. I’m giving up hanging around any Christians who do not have the ability to laugh at themselves.