Ring! Ring!

“Hello,”

“Sir, I was wondering if you might be willing to answer a few questions for a survey we’re conducting in your area.”

Finally, the boredom was broken. I was saved.

“Yes, I’d be willing to do that.”

“Thank you very much sir. Let me ask the first question. Do you ever eat at a fast food restaurant?”

“Yes, I do,” I replied.

“Very good,” she said. “Now, the second question. Please tell me which of the following age categories you fall into.” She began to call out the categories. “Category A is 20 to 30; Category B is 31 to 40; Category C is 41 to 50; Category D is 51 to 60.”

There was silence.

“Sir,” she finally said, “which of those categories do you fall into?”

I replied, “I’m sorry but I’m not in any of those categories.”

“Thank you very much for you time,” she replied.

Oh my goodness, I thought. I’d been kicked out of class on the second question. There was no way I was going to retreat back into my boredom.

“What do you mean ‘Thank me very much’?”

“Well, sir, if you’re not in one of those categories the survey is over.”

“But, if I was in one of those categories you’d want to spend more time with me?”

“Yes, we’d have some more questions.”

“I’m not going to stand for this. You are discriminating against me because of my age.”

“Sir, it’s just a survey.”

“It’s a survey you’re not letting me take because of my age. I think that must be against the law. For what company are you conducting this survey?”

“I can’t tell you who my client is, sir.”

“Why not? I want to write the president of that company about this insult.”

“Sir, our client’s names are confidential. We don’t give out that information.”

“Well,” I hugged, “let me speak to your supervisor.”

“You want to talk to my supervisor?”

“I do.”

There was a pause. I could hear some whispering in the background. Finally a man’s voice came on the phone.

“May I help you sir?”

“You certainly can,” I insisted. “Go ahead and ask me the third question.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ask me the third question. That lady wouldn’t ask me the rest of the questions because of my age.”

“We’re only conducting this survey with people who fit in the categories she gave you”

“Ah,” I said, “you admit you are discriminating against people my age. What company are you conducting this survey for?”

I could hear his exasperated release of breath. “We are not discriminating, sir. And we cannot tell you the client. That’s confidential.”

“Look here, young man,” I maintained, “you are discriminating against helpless old people like me. And I want the name of that company you represent. In fact, I want the name of your company. I need to give that information to my attorney. My civil rights are being violated here and I’m going to hold your client responsible.”

“I cannot give you the name of our client. I told you that information is confidential. Could you hold just a moment?”

“Sure.”

I heard whispering in the background. I distinctly heard the man say, “Go ahead and ask him the questions.”

The young lady came back on the line. “Very well, sir. I’m going to give you the survey.”

“Thank you.”

“The next question is: Have you ever eaten at Hardee’s?”